Wednesday, August 24, 2005


a mouth full of Dickau

PO and I disagree somewhat on the Dickau signing, so out of laziness, instead of writing two separate articles, today we present transcripts from an email dialogue.

Chestnutt - So here we have it, the sum total of Danny Ainge's foray into the FA market - two overpaid honkies getting way too much credit for being “character guys.” When Scalabrine signed I gave Danny a pass because it wasn't for much money, but we have two guys who, if not for DA's largesse very well could have been out of basketball in two years, now consuming approximately 10% of the payroll. I don't like it. Death by a thousand cuts (or more aptly, 4 legitimately bad contracts - MB, DD, BS, RL). Dick-owww is probably the less offensive of the two signings, but they both spell "franchise regressing" to me.

PO - While not as down on these moves as you, it seems to me that these two signings have as much to do with off the court reasons than on. Because the captain of the team is uninterested in being a captain, Danny has gotten himself two “smart” players who, no doubt, will be great influences off the court, and won’t kill us on the court. If that’s the case, save the money and just trade Pierce.

Chestnutt - The problem is that getting these guys only makes sense if Pierce is gone. These guys can't do shit on the court, and they are in no way going to be able to undo the Pissy-Pierce team identity stranglehold. It's all well and good that Scalab-urine stays late at the gym working on his free throws, but I'm thinking TA, Gerald Green and KP are going to take their emotional cues from the guy who (rightly or wrongly) has made the all-star team four times and has thousands (or is it hundreds? haha) of people in the stands wearing his jersey. It's just a credibility thing. People in any field are more likely to emulate the most accomplished and productive member of the office/team rather than the jovial but ultimately lesser-accomplished colleague. They may go to lunch with the jovial guy, but they take their cues from the fuckhead who sells the most cars. You dig? That’s why Payton was able to make an impact – he was effective early on and has HOF credentials that players have to respect. DD and BS are good for the team if it's driven by the rookies and we're losing a lot, but with PP and the whole "mediocre .500 crapfest" going on, they are simply extraneous and overpaid.

PO - While I agree with you in theory, I think it’s different in this case because I don’t think the kids like Pierce. He’s probably a dick to them, he’s always making those comments about not wanting to rebuild (who wants to be thought of as someone not ready to compete in the NBA), and he doesn’t pass them the fucking ball when they’re in. I’d wager several think they are better ball players than him. Pierce is inherited garbage, and Danny has set the precedent that if you work hard you’ll be taken care of. He’s signed Reed, Gomes, Scal and Dickau all to long-term contracts. What do they all have in common, hard working good influences with questionable talent rather than good talent with questionable influence. DA thinks he has the talent in the young guys, he just needs the good influences.

AJ and GG better be fucking good, or the blueprint is way fucked up.

Chestnutt – I agree the kids probably don’t like Pierce (easy enough to read between the lines in their quotes to the press and the general bench pecking order that seems evident during games), but that’s also part of the point. He’s the big kahuna, the only NBA ‘star’ they’ve played with in their career, and a presence that all the Scab-on-my-Dick-oww’s are never going to abate. I think the importance of the young players’ lack of a relationship with Pierce is that the team will have no morale implosion if/when he’s traded. They’ll lose, but it will be their team that’s losing.

AJ is a lot closer to being the next Jermaine O’Neal than he is the next Amare Stoudamire. That’s good enough for me, but he’s not the world-beater some are predicting.

As for GG, I think we should start making entirely baseless predictions just to fall in line with everyone else in Celtics-Nation (the concept, not the board you terrorize) who seems to have an opinion of a guy they’ve never seen play. I’m telling you PO, he’s the next Rudy Gay!

PO - I’m a Gay Lover! (Thanks for the set up)

Well, if Big Al is an O’Neal in three years, and Green becomes an ’02 Pierce in four, than you need complimentary players like Dick and Scal at that time. Hell, maybe we should have signed them longer term! At the very least, they can help the boys do their taxes (I know, cheap whitey joke).

When it comes down to it, Dickau is a better PG than the other four currently on the team. I can see Scal being 2nd or 3rd off the bench. Each player will average over 20 minutes a game this year. Perhaps that is an indictment of the team rather than an affirmation of their ability, but they’re relatively cheap and will not embarrass the C’s on or off the court.

Chestnutt - true enough I suppose. Trade Pierce!

Friday, August 12, 2005


Alumni Teams

With nothing much to report, and little to comment on today (Pierce/Clippers rumor is like making out with that cock-teasing chick in college who ultimately wouldn’t give it up, hot and exciting but never done to completion), I thought I would mix things up a bit with a column dedicated to two of my loves, NCAA and NBA basketball.

As many of you know, I am a UConn grad/fan, and to an extent this posting is just showing off my school, so keep that in mind while you dismiss my rankings. While at school, my classmates and I often debated which group of assembled alumni in the NBA would have field the best team. Usually it was a discussion of the second best school, being the mid-nineties and North Carolina having easily the best team. Many schools have excellent players in the NBA, but few could field an entire roster (UNC comes the closest this year). Therefore, these rankings have almost as much to do with quantity as quality.

As such, for the purposes of these rankings, I am including only those teams that could field at least a starting team with a three-player bench. Players are judged in their current NBA condition (including this year’s draft picks, whose contributions will be lessened having not proven themselves yet), not their best years, college years, or future potential.

1. UConn
Starters: C-Okafor, PF- Marshall, SF- Allen, SG- Hamilton, PG- Gordon
Bench: F- Butler, F- Robinson, G- Ollie, F- Villanueva, C- Voskuhl

The NBA Huskies feature the best mid-range jumper in the NBA, the best fourth quarter scorer in the NBA, and the best pure jump shot in the NBA. Superior outside shooting vaults my beloved Huskies to the top of the alumni heap. Duke is bigger, UNC is deeper, Arizona is faster, Kansas has the best PG, but nobody can score like the ’05 NBA Huskies. Even the starting PF shoots 42% from three. Coached by Hall of Famer Jim Calhoun, who owns the venerable Coach K, and this team squeaks by a great Duke team.

2. Duke
Starters: C- Brand, PF- Boozer, SF- Deng, SG- Maggette, PG- Duhon
Bench: F- Hill, F- Battier, G- Ewing, F- Laettner, G- D. Jones, F- Randolph

Whereas the number one team is rather one dimensional, this team can do it all. Rebound, defense, score; the NBA Blue Devils is stacked with multi-dimensional players Brand, Deng, Hill and Maggette. A solid bench with most players in their natural positions, this team easily takes the second spot.

3. North Carolina
Starters: C- R. Wallace, PF- Jamison, SF- Carter, SG- Stackhouse, PG- McInnis
Bench: C- May, F- M. Williams, G- Felton, F- Lynch, C- Haywood, G- McCants

Lots of names on this team, just as many question marks. How can one school produce so many talented yet combustible players? The NBA Tarheels lose when Carter tells Maggette the last play of the game and he stuffs Stack as he comes off a screen.

4. Arizona
Starters: C- Woods, PF- Frye, SF- R. Jefferson, SG- Arenas, PG- Bibby
Bench: G- Iguodala, G- D. Stoudamire, G- S. Stoudamire, G- Terry

A thin frontcourt hurts the NBA Wildcats, but backcourt scoring makes up for lack of depth. This team beats the NBA Jayhawks when Iguodala comes off the bench and shuts down Pierce.

5. Kansas
Starters: C- LaFentz, PF- Collison, SF- Gooden, SG- Pierce, PG- Hinrich
Bench: C- Pollard, F- Simien, C- Ostertag, G- Vaughn

Solid lineup with good size and a very good point guard. A very thin bench and a lack of scoring hurt the NBA Jayhwaks.

Honorable Mention

Starters: C-Magloire, PF- Walker, SF- Prince, SG- Mercer, PG- Delk
Bench: F- Mashburn, C- Padgett, C- Mohammed, F- McCarty, G- Bogans, G- Daniels, C- Pope

Wake Forest
Starters: C- Duncan, PF- Songaila, SF- R. Rogers, SG- J. Howard, PG- Paul
No bench

Starters: C- Wilcox, PF- J. Smith, SF- Dixon, SG- Francis, PG- Blake
Bench: C- Massenburg, G- Profit

Starters: C- E. Thomas, PF- Warrick, SF- D. Brown, SG- Anthony, PG- Hart
No Bench

Monday, August 08, 2005


Rumors Redux

A few quick thoughts on recent trade rumors…

1) Boozer and/or Harpring are not coming to the Celtics. The Jazz would need Al Jefferson in return for any deal to make sense, and Danny isn’t of the mind to cut his own throat just yet. Regardless, a Pierce/Boozer duo would be even less successful then the LeBron/Boozer duo, which is to say we would still suck and have no future. Those who think that the Jazz would take Blount in a deal for Boozer are being so dumb it’s almost cute.

2) Pierce to the Griz? It sounds like Jerry West wants to do something with us, but is it a blockbuster or simply Marcus Banks for a protected #1? A blockbuster would probably involve Mike Miller’s grotesque contract, a sign-n-trade with Earl Watson, and lots of “Pau/Paul” confusion for announcers throughout the land. I could see us agreeing to a Pierce for L-Wright and Watson, but I think Danny only trades Pierce if he can include Blount or Raef’s contract in the deal. And that makes everything a little fucky.

3) Marcus Banks? Shockingly, I’d be a little disappointed if we moved the ole dimwit. He’s an entertaining (code for "out of control") back-up point guard who can shut down the opposing motherfucker when properly motivated. Granted, he’s still a loser who will never start in this league, but for the chump change we’re paying him and the endless entertainment provided by Doc coming up with reasons not to play him - there’s no better man for the job.

Thursday, August 04, 2005


Spiking the Kool-Aid

Here at CelticsDoom, we pride ourselves on providing an alternative destination for those fans constrained by the kool-aid drinkers at other fancy-boy sites. You know, the kind of site where a right-thinking poster could point out something as innocuous as “perhaps Pierce should not have attempted to dribble through three guys at the end of the game,” and he immediately gets labeled a troll/hater/pedophile. These jack-offs live with the odd notion that if you say anything negative about the team, somehow it will negatively affect the team. Huh? Putting aside that 4-year old mentality, I bring this up for a reason…

The kool-aid drinkers are getting negative.

These dip-shits were on top of the world during the mirage that was the Walker renascence. Even when troubling signs persisted throughout the remaining few weeks of the season, and even with a thoroughly embarrassing playoff series, the mindless still grasped to “AW/PP and pieces” strategy of winning number 17.

However, I noticed a not-so-subtle change in attitude with these lemmings, starting with other Atlantic teams improving on the court (Nets) and on the bench (Knicks), and culminating in the departure of the fattest “three guard” in history. Even the Sports (I’m friends with the owners) Guy is predicting doom next year.

I think someone is putting a little whiskey in the kool-aid.

Conveniently forgetting that we were not that good of a team to begin with, I’m starting to hear stuff like “blow it up,” and “if you’re gonna trade Walker, you might as well trade Pierce,” from some of the most unlikely sources. Over the last few days I read as one of these fans came to the slow realization that Pierce may not be happy with recent developments and perhaps we should trade him before the season starts and he negatively affects the team. Where the fuck have I heard that before?

Most of this can be attributed to the bitterness of one of their favorite players leaving, and most will eventually go back to missing the forest through the trees. But it’s funny and ironic while it lasts. Funny because the positive precedent has been set so high, that a mild and uninteresting “rant” by Jeff at Celts-blog gets criticized for being too negative. Ironic because we here at doom are much more positive about recent developments.

We are not going to be that good next year, Pierce or (hopefully) no Pierce. We know that, and can handle that, as long as we continue to build for the future. As long as Danny doesn’t make any AW type trades for short-term financial gain. As long as the core gets the opportunities to contribute.

Next year, when the young guys are inconsistent and the team is floundering, you will not find anyone here pinning for the days of AW and PP (provided he’s gone). I suspect it will be a main topic of discussion on other sites, at which point, will they be doom and we be kool-aid drinkers?

Pass the whiskey.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005


Employee Number Hate

(note – this is being posted with the understanding that the Toine trade is not yet official)

The misguided experiment that was “Antoine Part Deux” has finally concluded, and our man is set to depart in yet another controversial Ainge trade that will have a vocal segment of Celtics nation whining for the next six months - “that’s all you could get for him?”

I hate to break it to the lemmings, but we’re lucky to get anything, and in some ways we’d have probably been better off just letting him walk. Credit Danny’s fear of public pillory for demanding something in return, as he knew full well that the final analysis would expose the fact that he squandered a first rounder for 3 weeks of good publicity and a thousand more people in the stands.

As of this writing, the deal appears to be the NBA equivalent of a pity date - a couple second rounders, a pointless swingman who will probably be cut, and a Euro-leaguer who can’t get off the bench playing for Spain. The only thing clear to me is that Mark Bartelstein has more clout in the league then I ever suspected, and he likely owes Ainge a blowjob for setting his main man Antoine up with an extra million and a half a year.

And that’s the thing, when it comes down to it, this whole Antoine-FA fiasco has been the Sturm and Drang of a highly motivated agent trying to spare his client from the embarrassment of being exposed as a has-been by the Darwinian realities of the NBA salary structure. Can you imagine any other 19/9 guy meeting the deafening silence that Antoine experienced the second he hit the free agent market? Why is it that this supposed top-20 NBA player couldn’t even get a solid commitment for a mid-level offer while Shareef Abdul-Rahim, a similar player who in nine seasons has never even made the playoffs, was courted by nearly every major player in the FA hunt?

The answer is simple – Everyone in the league knows that Antoine Walker is not a very good basketball player. His weaknesses are well documented - he is slow, can’t shoot, can’t play defense, doesn’t make very good decisions and has maybe the worst shot selection in the league. As his only real suitor, Pat Riley is taking a reasonable gamble that Antoine will provide some kind of rebounding and passing help in the front court, with the understanding that the Heat will live and die on the backs of Shaq and Wade. My guess is that the Heat will have a similar season this year and Antoine will be a minor part of their success. I also doubt that the Heat will be the last team Antoine ever plays for.

That’s because Antoine has spirit and heart, but he can’t fit in with any system that doesn’t include him as a vital piece. Personally, I think he’s one of the most spectacularly bad players I’ve ever seen play the game, but there are smarter people than me who believe he has a place in this league, and I’m not about to say I know more than people who do this for a living. However, it is hard to say what he still brings to the table as player, and it’s much easier to list the things he is not. Antoine is NOT: 1) the “missing piece of the puzzle” that puts a contending team over the top, 2) the likeable veteran willing to accept whatever role it takes to help a young team, 3) a core guy to build a franchise around.

We have seen him fail at all of these things in Dallas, Boston and Atlanta. Now he’s getting older and slower and more desperate to salvage his reputation as a top player in the league. In a best case scenario he buys completely into the role player mentality and becomes a useful piece of Miami’s puzzle. In a more likely future, his bad habits will wear out his welcome and he’ll continue his odyssey as a peripatetic NBA spare part and annual trade filler.

I think Toine is a likeable guy and I hope he puts it together in Miami, but we never should have reacquired him and I am grateful he’s gone for good this time.

The future is back on track. Al Jefferson is once again the real #8.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?