Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Double Cleveland Steamer
A tough double-OT loss that felt so improbable as it unfolded it seemed as if the Celtics were fated to win. Cruel reality reigned supreme, however, as Pierce fouled out with around a minute left in OT2 and the hapless Celtic-remainders could find no way of scoring without him.
The Cavaliers for the most part underwhelmed, and it seems as if their team has a serious basketball IQ drop-off after Mr.'s James and Snow leave the court. Or maybe they just felt embarrassed playing against the likes of Orien Greene and Brian Scalabrine, and it was shame that kept the game close. At one point in the 2nd quarter, as the Celtics 2nd unit flailed around wildly and fell behind by 10, I wrote the phrase "the sad dance of bewildered clowns" on my notepad, and I think it sums that part of the game up quite well.
The story of the Celtics this game was very simple - no one other than Pierce could get anything going on offense, so he essentially took the game over and threw down a career high 50 before fouling out. He saddled that very fine and somewhat frightening line between "putting the team on his shoulders" and "blatantly ignoring his teammates," but we'll give him the benefit of the doubt as it was clear early on that tonight his teammates mostly deserved to be ignored. Delonte had his best "pocket Lafayette Lever" game since opening night, which was fittingly punctuated throughout the broadcast by Tommy's ridiculous hyper-defensive "Delonte's really a point guard and fuck everyone who doesn't think he is" commentary. Yeah yeah yeah, Tommy, he's John Fucking Stockton.
So yeah, Pierce made the Celtics look respectable from the 3rd quarter on, and although they fell short, it wasn't the kind of effort that made you embarrassed to be a fan. Long game, long night, and I'm tired. Let's get to the awards.
Player of the Game - LeBron James. With a sterling 42/11/12 line, the King of the Association did not disappoint the thousands of fans who came to the TDB Garden primarily to see him play. No one outside of the Celtics fanbase takes this LeBron/Pierce rivalry seriously, but it is kind of funny how desperately Pierce wants to stick it to the league's golden boy. Tonight's performance should get Pierce plenty of run on Sportscenter, but he's still just a regional star and LeBron's still the savior.
Hamcock - Brian Scalabrine. In the second overtime we saw this dipshit try to thread an impossible pass to Paul Pierce through three defenders and then brick a wide open top-of-the-key three pointer. Even Heinshon gave him some shit, which is akin to Paris Hilton telling Tara Reid she parties too much. I guess the "little things" Scalabrine provides include turnovers at crucial points in the game along with the occasional missed wide-open look. Yup, ladies and gentlemen we give you your Bewildered Clown #1.
Quote of the Night - "The last great shootout I saw was Larry Bird vs. Dominique Wilkins. Maybe this will match it!" Tommy Heinsohn, breathlessly pumping up the Pierce/Lebron "all star vs. all star" matchup. An utterly disgraceful violation of Celtics history, as Tommy "Kill Yr Idols" Heinsohn dared compare one of the greatest moments in Boston team-sports playoff lore with a meaningless mid-season contest between these likely lottery bound Celtics and a decent-but-not-yet-great Cavaliers team. I know, I know, it was a great game and the Pierce/LeBron thing actually delivered, but please, comparing 1988 with any game this year is like two gay cowboys comparing Brokeback Mountain sex to a $2 truck-stop hand job. Ain't even close Tommy.
The Cavaliers for the most part underwhelmed, and it seems as if their team has a serious basketball IQ drop-off after Mr.'s James and Snow leave the court. Or maybe they just felt embarrassed playing against the likes of Orien Greene and Brian Scalabrine, and it was shame that kept the game close. At one point in the 2nd quarter, as the Celtics 2nd unit flailed around wildly and fell behind by 10, I wrote the phrase "the sad dance of bewildered clowns" on my notepad, and I think it sums that part of the game up quite well.
The story of the Celtics this game was very simple - no one other than Pierce could get anything going on offense, so he essentially took the game over and threw down a career high 50 before fouling out. He saddled that very fine and somewhat frightening line between "putting the team on his shoulders" and "blatantly ignoring his teammates," but we'll give him the benefit of the doubt as it was clear early on that tonight his teammates mostly deserved to be ignored. Delonte had his best "pocket Lafayette Lever" game since opening night, which was fittingly punctuated throughout the broadcast by Tommy's ridiculous hyper-defensive "Delonte's really a point guard and fuck everyone who doesn't think he is" commentary. Yeah yeah yeah, Tommy, he's John Fucking Stockton.
So yeah, Pierce made the Celtics look respectable from the 3rd quarter on, and although they fell short, it wasn't the kind of effort that made you embarrassed to be a fan. Long game, long night, and I'm tired. Let's get to the awards.
Player of the Game - LeBron James. With a sterling 42/11/12 line, the King of the Association did not disappoint the thousands of fans who came to the TDB Garden primarily to see him play. No one outside of the Celtics fanbase takes this LeBron/Pierce rivalry seriously, but it is kind of funny how desperately Pierce wants to stick it to the league's golden boy. Tonight's performance should get Pierce plenty of run on Sportscenter, but he's still just a regional star and LeBron's still the savior.
Hamcock - Brian Scalabrine. In the second overtime we saw this dipshit try to thread an impossible pass to Paul Pierce through three defenders and then brick a wide open top-of-the-key three pointer. Even Heinshon gave him some shit, which is akin to Paris Hilton telling Tara Reid she parties too much. I guess the "little things" Scalabrine provides include turnovers at crucial points in the game along with the occasional missed wide-open look. Yup, ladies and gentlemen we give you your Bewildered Clown #1.
Quote of the Night - "The last great shootout I saw was Larry Bird vs. Dominique Wilkins. Maybe this will match it!" Tommy Heinsohn, breathlessly pumping up the Pierce/Lebron "all star vs. all star" matchup. An utterly disgraceful violation of Celtics history, as Tommy "Kill Yr Idols" Heinsohn dared compare one of the greatest moments in Boston team-sports playoff lore with a meaningless mid-season contest between these likely lottery bound Celtics and a decent-but-not-yet-great Cavaliers team. I know, I know, it was a great game and the Pierce/LeBron thing actually delivered, but please, comparing 1988 with any game this year is like two gay cowboys comparing Brokeback Mountain sex to a $2 truck-stop hand job. Ain't even close Tommy.
# posted by Dr. Chestnutt @ 11:47 PM 
