Wednesday, January 04, 2006


RIP PierceOverrated

Overrated, Pierce (PO) was peacefully laid to rest on Tuesday after a year and a half of relentless and sometimes warrant less criticism of Boston Celtic caption Paul Pierce. Born on an inferior website, he belittled well-meaning Celtic fans who had the temerity to defend the team’s public face and best player. In the beginning, he used statistics to demonstrate that Pierce’s career arc climaxed in 2002, and steadily decreased for a full 2½ seasons. Pierce’s shooting percentage had plummeted, particularly from three, and his turnovers were way up. As his skills deteriorated, so did his demeanor. The reluctant leader had become a sulky fuck, who drained the joy out of watching the Celtics play.

Paul Pierce sucked, and PO wanted everyone to know about it, especially those Kool-Aid drinkers over at Celticsblog. Pierce Overrated was susceptible to hyperbole and sarcasm to prove his points, but Pierce himself would ultimately nourish his rants with conduct detrimental to winning. Following a benching at the end of a game for yelling at the coach (who we thought had balls at the time, we have since been proved wrong), PO dominated several threads on the blog, insulting anyone who disagreed and leading to his eventual ban by the biggest pussy in the Blogworld. Jeff, a contemptible person, would remain a villain throughout the remainder of his short life.

Plucked out of obscurity by a mad Dr. who ran a far superior website, PO began writing for CelticsDoom, a site described by one of its fine contributors as the Oakland Raiders of the Celtic internet community, a place for the unwashed and unwanted. His move unfortunately coincided with the sudden improvement of Pierce’s game, leading PO to write things like “PP Playing Better, But Still Sucks.” Fortunately for PO, Pierce continued to act like a douche on and off the court. PO’s predictions had come true in meltdowns against the Knicks late in the season, and famously the game 6 incident against Indiana. While most Celtic fans felt horrible watching their hero lose his shit in the most inopportune time, PO felt vindicated.

After screwing the Celtics out of the trade of the decade for a future franchise point guard, Paul Pierce came out in 2005/06 playing terrific basketball, the best of his career. He played within the system, mostly stopped attempting to dribble through entire defenses, and shot the ball at almost 50%, shattering one of PO’s strongest arguments. Conspiracy theorists suggest that DA promised PP a trade to a contender if he played Mr. Happy Face for the first few months. Regardless, PO had been proven wrong.

While PierceOverrated has been correct in stating that a rejuvenated Pierce would do nothing to improve Celtic chances to win a championship, he has been wrong in burying Pierce’s game. PO knew it was coming to an end when he could watch a Celtic game without getting pissed every time Pierce touched the ball.

PierceOverrated leaves his alter-ego, jerkycsfan, who will take his place on the CelticsDoom roster.

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