Wednesday, January 04, 2006


Boob Cats

A win is a win, but it is worth mentioning that tonight we barely survived a squeaker at home against a two year old Bobcats team that was missing its franchise player (Okafor) and two of its better big men (Sean May and Melivn Ely). The Celtics played effectively no defense, turned the ball over 24 times and blew several double digit leads, but managed to hang on due to a huge night from Pierce (no longer overrated) and some timely free throws from Orien Greene.

Yup, it was one for the time capsule. For those who will chose to view this game as a step forward for this wretched team, I just say, "no one has ever gone 0-82."

On the player side of things, it appears that Justin Reed has retaken his lead against Ryan Gomes in the fight for celebrated title of "overrated second rounder getting a few token minutes per game." Brian Scalabrine is now officially back in the rotation and providing naught beyond frequent opportunities for drunken TD Banknorth Garden-ers to vent their spleen (see below). At least tonight he did not appear to sob like a girl. In our daily edition of "as the point guards turn," Banks played a horrific game, while Orien Greene looked a bit less terrible than usual. Doc actually played Ricky fewer than 8 million minutes, and he in turn responded with a good game. In the "Doc is an idiot" column however, he played Perkins 2 minutes and Scalbarine 7. And lastly, the newly celebrated Delonte West and the always-despised Mork Blount each turned the ball over 5 times.

The rest of the night can be summed up in the following refrain, sung to the tune of the Addam's family theme song - "Al Jefferson started, Banks stunk like he farted, Doc Rivers is retarded - the Celtics play no D."

Player of the Game - Paul Pierce. On the eve of my blog partner re-christening himself to remove the ugly stain of hater-dom, Pierce responded with his best game since the road trip, putting up great numbers (31/8/10) in, get this, a Win. If we can't get Luol Deng and that Knicks pick via Chicago for him now, Ainge should be fired. Uhh, I mean, not that he shouldn't be anyway.

Hamcock - Brian Scalabrine. In his own way, Veal is a remarkable player. By my count he has yet to do anything positive on the court in a home game beyond setting one timely pick (which happened, if I am remembering correctly, the last time we played the Bobcats). The boos rain down with regularity as he overshoots 3's, turns the ball over, and commits stupid offensive fouls. Meanwhile Ryan Gomes sits and watches and wonders, "how the fuck can I get this guy's agent?"

Quote of the Night - "I got pictures of Mark Blount!" A.K.H. An old pal of myself and Jerky was at the game and reported this information to me via her cell phone. Of course she pronounced it "Blownt," but then again she was always a bit of a thing that rhymes with Blunt. Nonetheless, she provided the valuable intel that the D-Herpes nickname was fully in effect amongst the fans, along with some crisp booing for tonight (and every night's) Hamcock award recipient, Brian Scalaburine. Looks like we may have our answer to Gabe Kahn...

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