Monday, December 19, 2005


Golden (State) Showers

It was that rarity of all rarities - an enjoyable, well paced basketball contest that ended with the Celtics scoring more points than their opponent. Granted, it see-sawed back and forth because the Celtics lapsed into some bad habits on offense in the 3rd quarter, but they managed to keep their shit together and stopped the Warriors (and an extremely pissed off Baron Davis) from ruining yet another evening out for several dozen greater-Boston residents.

Some quick notes about the Golden State Warriors, who I cannot believe are doing well this season:
1) Baron Davis, as mentioned, was so goddamn annoyed with the world tonight (culminating in a totally needless takedown of Raef LaFrentz), it made me wonder how we would have treated him if Danny had traded for him. Although his pre-game interview (see below), suggested the communication skills of Bernie Bickerstaff after many bottles of cough syrup, I think he'd have turned into a CelticsDoom favorite simply because the fanboys wouldn't have known what to make of him.
2) Troy Murphy looks worse and worse to me every year. Not in that he resembles an even uglier Nicholas Cage, but the two games a year I see him play he seems soft and really not worth the huge money he's getting for the next 6 years. He had a monster night tonight (27/12), yet I wouldn't want him on my team. Maybe it's just me.
3) Golden State possibly have a worse salary structure than the Celtics, which is truly remarkable. $26 million in 2008/2009 to Foyle, Fisher and Murphy. Ouch.

Anyway, the second quarter of this game had the most interesting developments, with a lineup of Ricky, Jefferson, Orien, Gomes and LaFrentz taking the game over and racking up a double digit lead. They fed the ball to Jefferson on nearly ever possession, and he responded with 10/5 in that quarter alone. The optimistic among us could point to this quarter as containing the blueprint for a successful season - run, throw it to Al, rebound. The pessimists among us could say that these good things happened against the 2nd unit of a tired Golden State Warriors squad, and anyway for some reason we pretty much could do no wrong tonight so don't expect it to every happen again.

The other encouraging news of the evening was that Doc kept the rotation short and sane. No Scalaburine or Reed, but lots of Gomes (5/8), Jefferson, Orien and Marcus. He still inexplicably benched Perk the entire 4th quarter, but Raef played effectively and (God help me) Blount did as well, so heavy things at CelticsDoom HQ were not tossed in the vicinity of the television. Also, Golden State were rebounding like they had 5 Walter McCarty's on the floor, so we could live with our pair of 7 foot pussies.

Speaking of living with a pair of 7 foot pussies, I am of the mind to tell a joke about having sex with a WNBA team, but outside of the punchline "and she thought she had a small cock!" I can't make up the rest.

Player of the Game - Al Jefferson. We'd all be happier if a 13/8 night were routine at this point, but at very least we saw that in the right frame of mind (and against cheap honkiefied defense), he truly can dominate the game for short stretches of time. If he does this against Detroit, I'll be really impressed, but for now, I think we'll all take it.

Hamcock - Marcus Banks. He doesn't deserve it in the sense that he played poorly, but he gets it because he was probably the most dispensable player on the floor. He also had some classic gaffes - fouled Baron Davis shooting a three, charged recklessly to the basket to no avail on a couple occasions, missed open jump shots that he needs to hit when the big guys get doubled teamed, only had 3 assists, etc. He was no better or worse than Delonte is on any given night, however, and it's going to be very interesting to see who wins that battle for minutes.

Quote of the Night - "He used to... he used to always steal my food," Baron Davis. A chunk of nonsense gleaned from a surreal pre-game interview with Greg Dickerson, wherein Baron Davis raised serious doubts about the robust-ness of his brain's alpha waves. Never raising his voice above a sullen mumble (and letting his head loll around in an affect resembling an extra from the last fifteen minutes of "Awakenings"), Baron made the otherwise believable claim that boyhood pal Paul Pierce was a "big goofy kid" who was "lazy" and preoccupied with eating. For those of us who subject ourselves to the interminable half-hour exercise in awkward time killing that is the FSN Celtics Pre-game Show, it was a rare glimpse of something unscripted and interesting.

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