Friday, February 11, 2005


Celtics vs. Knicks (W 111-94)

One of the best wins of the season - the Celtics played solid team ball and showed Stephon Shitbury what winning means as they carved the embarrassing Knicks into vastly overpaid pieces. The game was won in the 2nd when unbelievably enough, Marcus Banks came off the bench and dominated for about seven minutes with the best defense he's played since that seven steal game last year, along with doing a very solid job of distributing the ball. Yup, my most hated Celtic of the glorious post-McCarty era actually had a difference-making game. It reminds me of the truth behind the saying, "every now and then even a blind chicken can find a kernel of corn." As if to punctuate the general iffy-ness of all things Marcus, Doc ended up sitting his ass in the second half after another most likely half-imagined error, giving Delonte time to go out and piss all over Banks's one night of glory. Please Danny, just trade him and put us all out of this misery.

Ricky was the dominant offensive force, scoring 25 and making everyone who defended him look like a fool. He did his usual torch-job on Jamaal "smart move leaving the Bulls" Crawford, which at one point led to some pretty funny on-court shit-talking. Tony Allen was his usual "equal parts inhumanly great and completely out-of-control," my man Raef continued to kick ass, and Pierce had a nice contained game.

This was one of those wins the boosters will hail as "proof" that this team is well on the way to #17, but I just keep thinking about how much the Knicks suck and how likely it is that the Kings will take a big shit on us this Sunday.

A fine broadcast moment - At one point during the first quarter they cut to a shot of Tony Allen moving his pointer finger across his outstretched tongue in what I can only imagine was a visual for a bawdy anecdote about a recent blow-job. Banks was next to him barely paying attention, but I'm really hoping that there was a Mexican girl involved.

Player of the Game - Marcus Banks. I'm telling you, he had his best 11 minutes as a Celtic and I'm not afraid to acknowledge it. He completely turned the game around in the 2nd with his defense and (for once) under control up-tempo play. He was back to Marcus Bust for a brief spot in the 3rd quarter (alright, that's not fair, it was more like Mediocre Banks), but Doc yanked him before he had the chance to show if he could string two good quarters together. This guy must seriously go home and cry a lot.

Worst Celtic of the Game - this is hard in these kinds of games, but I guess I'll give it to Blount for being a complete disappointment and for this whole wearing Walter's clothes idiocy. The fucking team shelled out $42 million for your useless ass and not only do you completely quit playing basketball, but now you try and stick it to management with this grotesque public mourning for the worst Celtic of all time. Hey, that's a good topic for a debate. I'll enter Acie Earl, McCarty, Rick Brunson, Bruce Bowen (only as a Celtic) and Michael Smith as my off-the-top-of-my-head top 5.

Quote of the Night - Bob Cousy's every word. Unlike the bullying boosterism and Johnny Most wannabe-ism (minus the common man charm) of Tommy Heinsohn, Cousy always comes in ready to take a piss on the team if they deserve it, and it makes me long for the days when he did all the road games. Lately his schtick is to pretend he barely pays attention to the NBA (witness the discussion about Hardaway where he earnestly asks, "wasn't this guy a star at one point"?) and just act completely detached. His presence clearly unsettles Heinsohn, who can't stand any competition for his head-cheerleader gig, and he often draws Gorman over to his side by sticking with the facts and dismissing Tommy's ref-baiting. Add to the fact that stupid fuck Pitino banished him for not being mindlessly pro-Celtic enough, and you have the prototype CelticsDoom-er whom we all owe a great debt of gratitude to. Coooooooooooooose.

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